oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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