I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
