Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
