dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
