Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
