now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
