I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
