I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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