i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
