I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
