How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
