are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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