You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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