It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
