never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got inside last night via doggy door
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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