Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
