so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
