I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
