i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
