That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
