Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
