sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I supernannyed him into submission
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
