Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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