the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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