I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
