I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
