THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
