i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
