i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
