Do vagina's smell?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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