Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
