I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
