I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
