i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
