Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
