Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
