Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
