Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
