he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
