You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
