Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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