He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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