Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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