i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
