Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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