Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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