I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
