just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
