Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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