he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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