that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
