i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
