I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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