have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
