hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
